The Fault In Our Stars

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by merrileem
Last updated 4 years ago

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The Fault In Our Stars

Crossing The Threshold:Hazel insists to go since she doesn't know him yet he talks her into it. She begins to change her mind as a cigarette dangled from the unsmiling corner of his mouth. As she insists he's ruined his chance, he says "They don't kill you unless you light them, and I've never lit one. It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."

Call To Adventure:Hazel Grace denies Augustus' compliment, telling her she is beautiful. He says "You're like a millennial Natalie Portman. Like V for Vendetta Natalie Portman." She replies saying she's never saw it, leading Augustus to invite her over to see it.

Mentor/Helper:An Imperial Affliction is a big part of Augustus & Hazel's relatinship. Hazel persuades Gus to read it and once addicted, they're minds are set to visit Peter Van Houten; the author. Later on their friend, Isaac, and his girlfriend break up and he's miserable. They both help him get through it, throwing eggs at her car. This shows a strong point as to where Hazel and Gus work well together to solve problems.

Transformation:Isaac and Hazel are called to meet Gus in "The Literal Heart of Jesus." He's asked them to both prepare a eulogy for the funeral since he'll be dying soon. Isaac describes him as a vain, pretentious, and self-aggrandizing bastard. Hazel goes on to expain her feelings. She says, "There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set.I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love,I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful."

Return To Ordinary World:Hazel reads the letter Gus had sent. The letter gives her closure as she reads it at his grave. The letter was read as, "Van Houten,I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer. We’d make a good team. I don’t want to ask you any favors, but if you have time – and from what I saw, you have plenty – I was wondering if you could write a eulogy for Hazel. I’ve got notes and everything, but if you could just make it into a coherent whole or whatever? Or even just tell me what I should say differently.Here’s the thing about Hazel: Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too. That’s what bothers me most, is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and inglorious war against disease.I want to leave a mark.But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think, “They’ll remember me now,” but (a) they don’t remember you, and (b) all you leave behind are more scars. Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.(Okay, maybe I’m not such a shitty writer. But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.)We are like a bunch of dogs squirting on fire hydrants. We poison the groundwater with our toxic piss, marking everything MINE in a ridiculous attempt to survive our deaths. I can’t stop pissing on fire hydrants. I know it’s silly and useless – epically useless in my current state – but I am an animal like any other.Hazel is different. She walks lightly, old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad, Van Houten. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic. Isn’t that the real heroism? Like the doctors say: First, do no harm.The real heroes anyway aren’t the people doing things; the real heroes are the people NOTICING things, paying attention. The guy who invented the smallpox vaccine didn’t actually invented anything. He just noticed that people with cowpox didn’t get smallpox.After my PET scan lit up, I snuck into the ICU and saw her while she was unconscious. I just walked in behind a nurse with a badge and I got to sit next to her for like ten minutes before I got caught. I really thought she was going to die, too. It was brutal: the incessant mechanized haranguing of intensive care. She had this dark cancer water dripping out of her chest. Eyes closed. Intubated. But her hand was still her hand, still warm and the nails painted this almost black dark blue and I just held her hand and tried to imagine the world without us and for about one second I was a good enough person to hope she died so she would never know that I was going, too. But then I wanted more time so we could fall in love. I got my wish, I suppose. I left my scar.A nurse guy came in and told me I had to leave, that visitors weren’t allowed, and I asked if she was doing okay, and the guy said, “She’s still taking on water.” A desert blessing, an ocean curse.What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.

The Abyss:Hazel wakes in the middle of the night to a call from Gus. She rushes to the gas station, where she finds Gus with vomit all over and discovers his G-Tube is infected. He goes on about wanting to buy a pack of cigarettes and howhe hates himself, wanting to die. Hazel calms him until the ambulance she called shows up altough Gus told her not to call.

Atonement:Augustus Waters died eight days after his prefuneral. Leaving his funeral, Hazel realizes she didn't absolutely have to know what happened when the book ended. Gus realized before he passed that he didn't have to be a hero to a large number of people and that just one, Hazel, was quite enough.He had typed up a letter to Van Houten before dying to show his affection to Hazel and give the guy a chance to make her happy.


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