Sibling Relationships

by Hoots
Last updated 9 years ago

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Sibling Relationships

Sibling Relationships

Healthy Sibling Relationships

Tips and Strategies for Parents• Don’t make comparisons. (“I don’t understand it. When Johnny was her age, he could already tie his shoes.”) Each child feels he is unique and rightly so - he is unique, and he resents being evaluated only in relation to someone else. Instead of comparison, each child in the family should be given his own goals and levels of expectation that relate only to him.• Don’t dismiss or suppress your children’s resentment or angry feelings. Contrary to what many people think, anger is not something we should try to avoid at all costs. It’s an entirely normal part of being human, and it’s certainly normal for siblings to get furious with one another. They need the adults in their lives to assure them that mothers and fathers get angry, too, but have learned control and that angry feelings do not give license to behave in cruel and dangerous ways. This is the time to sit down, acknowledge the anger (“I know you hate David right now but you cannot hit him with a stick”) and talk it through.• Try to avoid situations that promote guilt in siblings. First we must teach children that feelings and actions are not synonymous. It may be normal to want to hit the baby on the head, but parents must stop a child from doing it. The guilt that follows doing something mean is a lot worse than the guilt of merely feeling mean. So parental intervention must be quick and decisive.• When possible, let brothers and sisters settle their own differences. Sounds good but it can be terribly unfair in practice. Parents have to judge when it is time to step in and mediate, especially in a contest of unequals in terms of strength and eloquence (no fair hitting below the belt literally or figuratively). Some long-lasting grudges among grown siblings have resulted when their minority rights were not protected.Child Development Institute. (1999). Handling sibling rivalry. Retrieved from http://childdevelopmentinfo.com/parenting/sibling_rivalry.shtml

We know one another's faults, virtues, catastrophes, mortifications, triumphs, rivalries, desires, and how long we can each hang by our hands to a bar. We have been banded together under pack codes and tribal laws. - Rose Macaulay

Sibling relationships - and 80 percent of Americans have at least one - outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust. - Erica E. Goode

Sibling Relationships Across Life SpanThis website is set up as a timeline. It teaches parents what to expect at certain ages. It also explains the closeness of relationships on gender and age.

Useful Websites

Books for Children:1. Siblings: You're Stuck with Each Other, So Stick Together by James J. Crist and Elizabeth Verdick2. Sisters and Brothers: Sibling Relationships in the Animal World by Robin Page3. Autism and Me: Sibling Stories by Ouisie Shapiro and Steven Vote4. Oh, Brither! Growing Up with a Special Needs Sibling by Natalie Hale5. A New Baby ar Koto Bear's House by Vicki LanskyBooks for Parents:1. Oh, Brother... Oh, Sister! A Sister's Guide to Getting Along (American Girl Library Series) by Briiks Whitney2. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live, Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish3. The Everything Parent's Guide to Raising Siblings: Tips to Eliminate Rivalry, Avoid Favoritism, and Keep the Peace by Linda Sonna4. Siblings in Adoption and Foster Care: Traumatic Separations and Honored Connections by Deborah N. Silverstein and Susan Livingston Smith5. 101 Activities for Siblings Who Squabble by Linda Williams Aber

Focus on the FamilyThis website explains what can be done to help strengthen sibling's relationships. It explains simple facts and reasons to more complex, such as when the children become physically violent towards one another.

KidsHealthThis is a great website for kids to look over. It will give them a better understanding of everyday sibling situations. It will also make them feel more comfortable knowing that what happens to them is normal and to stay positive along with having a close relationship with their siblings.

Sibling Support ProjectThis website is a very informative, community-based website. It gives dates of sibshops. Sibshops is a group that is committed to giving as much information as possible to children who need guidance because they have a brother or sister with a disability.

Big Brothers Big SistersIf you know of a single child that needs a positive impact on his or her life or just needs a companion, this is a great program to turn to. After finding out information and the interests of a child, they will pair him or her up with a positive role model that has shared interests. This is something that is extremely positive and can go a long way in a child's future.

SIMPLE kidsThis is a great website for those contimplating having more than one child. There are a lot of research articles that explain the pros and cons of children having siblings.

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Sibling Relationships are some of the most important relationships in a person’s life. In most cases these relationships are the first for social interactions and friendship. If these interactions with siblings are positive, then the relationships will be full of love, respect, humility, and friendship. If the interactions among sibling are negative it can create jealousy, sibling rivalry and hatred. It is up to the parents or primary caregivers to set the example of how siblings should love and treat each other. With proper guidance of sibling relationships, children will have a lasting, loving bond that will carry them through their whole lives. Because what is better than your best friend being your sister or brother, and knowing that he or she has your back, no matter what? - Casey QuinnI think every sibling relationship goes through tough times. Based on the morals and values taught by the parents, these relationships will either overcome the bad times, or fall apart. I am closer to one of my brothers now that we are adults than when we were kids. I think this is because we didn't have the tools we needed to have healthy relationships back then. We have learned and grown into responsible adults, and this has a lot to do with the influence of our parents. - Chris HootsSiblings are supposed to be there for each other. You should be able to lean on themwhen there is nobody else. - Katie RechkemmerThere is nothing more important than sharing a close bond with your brother or sister because at the end of the day, you'll always have them. - Krystle CopleyOne short quote that I have always loved when thinking about my brother and I is, "Brother and sister by chance, and friends by choice." - Connie Arias

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